At a time when many fund managers and founders are encountering a lot of rejection, some thoughts on how to think about life on the other side of the no.
Thanks for sharing this insight. Throughout my journey, I noticed many people in this space haven’t been told much in their lives. Based on their backgrounds, education, upbringing, etc., there seemed to be a lot of yeses throughout their journey! Nothing is wrong with that, but being told no is good. It builds character and makes for better people. However, there are ways to say no as well. Sometimes, I feel a lot of people in a position to say no abuse the power of saying no and come across rude and power-tripping.
It’s always fascinating to me to observe year after year that many founders/fund managers start connecting with funders right at the very crucial moment when capital is needed (in crisis or needy mode) , when they are in the Asker’s seat , while having set no or very limited foundation for mutual understanding , connections, and trustful communication.
What is being said at the Asking point in essence is : here is my work/project/offer and “it’s my way or the highway and it’s for now !”… and guess what ? In most cases not surprisingly, it's the highway !
There is no space allowed for co-creation, alliance, alignment, and partnership in this scenario. What "stakeholder " theory ? and who needs the flexibility afforded by shaping an idea or outcome congruent with a specific space/time/ecosystem context, even if it's to disrupt it? - sic, there is nothing more powerful than an idea which time has come.
The reason this often-observed behavior and process is bound to "No" is that it’s purely transactional and binary as opposed to transformational and generative. It is led by a human-group who, in general , has not yet become who they need to be to envision, create and evolve an offer that has the capabilities required for meeting the interest/needs of those groups living on the other side of any offer, be it the user, the consumer, the investor in the world of business for instance . Clearly such modus-operandi simply eludes the transformative nature of the pathway that brings ideas, concepts, or initiatives into existence which naturally find their place/application, inside the realm of the material world. Clearly, there is a missing piece.
In short , following the linear customary transactional "Goal setting-Plan structuring - Action taking" (GPA) process is effective and appropriate only once an intent has been supported into emergence so that it reaches its MVE (minimum viable evolutionary) stage, at which point, a timely and well-orchestrated GPA will usually accelerate its materialization and growth. Most initiatives skip the essential potentiation phase that allows for substance to emerge, and value creation to materialize in a suitably calibrated real-life offering.
The pillars and tools of systemic, transformative coaching as we define and apply them in our coaching practice are particularly designed to facilitate emergence as well as nurture further intentional, and sustainable growth pathways. We take a differentiated approach which when implemented by our clients allows them to contribute distinct solutions and extraordinary (ie : as compared to the ones commonly observed when applying linear standard models ) results in service to their clients, beneficiaries and society at large.
Finally, you are right charles , few can grow from NO … At a minimum, there is firstly the psychological aspect of Ego to take into consideration when facing the no-go (rejection) and secondly that of the merge or confusion between an individual’s essence or being and their role . These considerations could take me down an entire other rabbit hole .. but not this time. So, The No, I agree with you, is in fact the sign of what could be , if only it was allowed to emerge organically, with awareness about self and others , about the individual and the universal, about the intrinsic and the relational. Therefore, the No, I concur should be experienced with humility and gratitude for the learning opportunity, feedback, and growth potential it uncovers, ...
Thanks for sharing this insight. Throughout my journey, I noticed many people in this space haven’t been told much in their lives. Based on their backgrounds, education, upbringing, etc., there seemed to be a lot of yeses throughout their journey! Nothing is wrong with that, but being told no is good. It builds character and makes for better people. However, there are ways to say no as well. Sometimes, I feel a lot of people in a position to say no abuse the power of saying no and come across rude and power-tripping.
It’s always fascinating to me to observe year after year that many founders/fund managers start connecting with funders right at the very crucial moment when capital is needed (in crisis or needy mode) , when they are in the Asker’s seat , while having set no or very limited foundation for mutual understanding , connections, and trustful communication.
What is being said at the Asking point in essence is : here is my work/project/offer and “it’s my way or the highway and it’s for now !”… and guess what ? In most cases not surprisingly, it's the highway !
There is no space allowed for co-creation, alliance, alignment, and partnership in this scenario. What "stakeholder " theory ? and who needs the flexibility afforded by shaping an idea or outcome congruent with a specific space/time/ecosystem context, even if it's to disrupt it? - sic, there is nothing more powerful than an idea which time has come.
The reason this often-observed behavior and process is bound to "No" is that it’s purely transactional and binary as opposed to transformational and generative. It is led by a human-group who, in general , has not yet become who they need to be to envision, create and evolve an offer that has the capabilities required for meeting the interest/needs of those groups living on the other side of any offer, be it the user, the consumer, the investor in the world of business for instance . Clearly such modus-operandi simply eludes the transformative nature of the pathway that brings ideas, concepts, or initiatives into existence which naturally find their place/application, inside the realm of the material world. Clearly, there is a missing piece.
In short , following the linear customary transactional "Goal setting-Plan structuring - Action taking" (GPA) process is effective and appropriate only once an intent has been supported into emergence so that it reaches its MVE (minimum viable evolutionary) stage, at which point, a timely and well-orchestrated GPA will usually accelerate its materialization and growth. Most initiatives skip the essential potentiation phase that allows for substance to emerge, and value creation to materialize in a suitably calibrated real-life offering.
The pillars and tools of systemic, transformative coaching as we define and apply them in our coaching practice are particularly designed to facilitate emergence as well as nurture further intentional, and sustainable growth pathways. We take a differentiated approach which when implemented by our clients allows them to contribute distinct solutions and extraordinary (ie : as compared to the ones commonly observed when applying linear standard models ) results in service to their clients, beneficiaries and society at large.
Finally, you are right charles , few can grow from NO … At a minimum, there is firstly the psychological aspect of Ego to take into consideration when facing the no-go (rejection) and secondly that of the merge or confusion between an individual’s essence or being and their role . These considerations could take me down an entire other rabbit hole .. but not this time. So, The No, I agree with you, is in fact the sign of what could be , if only it was allowed to emerge organically, with awareness about self and others , about the individual and the universal, about the intrinsic and the relational. Therefore, the No, I concur should be experienced with humility and gratitude for the learning opportunity, feedback, and growth potential it uncovers, ...
Totally agree. This works even beyond investing too, including hiring and other deals.
As always, great stuff Charles!
I love this - what a thoughtful and mature perspective.